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I found out a couple of months ago that my wife of nine years was having an affair with a coworker. I was blindsided. I never thought she would do something like that to me. I am still completely lost. I don't know who to blame or if anyone should be blamed. I don't know if she is even the person I married. I don't know how to talk to her about the affair and I have no idea if our marriage is worth salvaging. How do I begin to sort out my life?

Answered by: Dr. Kevin Skinner

My wife has been going out with her friends more and more. Recently, I saw that she was emailing a guy that she met a few weeks ago. I think she might be cheating on me or at least she is starting to have feelings for this guy. I don't know how to approach her. What should I say? What if I am wrong?

Answered by: Brett Williams

My spouse wants to know the details about my affair. Our counselor has not said either way. My wife feels that we aren't getting anywhere in therapy. She says that she can't move forward unless I answer her questions. Do you think it is important to talk about the details of the affair?

Answered by: Dr. Kevin Skinner

My spouse had an ongoing affair for six months with a co-worker. Since then he has cut all ties with her. She ended up transferring to a new job and he has continually told me that they don't interact anymore. He is showing me his phone records and even tells me to look at them if I think that will help me. In truth, he is doing a lot of positive things. We have talked more recently than we did in many months. I feel like we are heading in the right direction. However, I am having a very difficult time being positive with him. He really is trying, but I don't want to tell him that because I am afraid he will stop doing what he has been doing. Does that make sense? Do you think I should give him more positive feedback?

Answered by: Dr. Kevin Skinner

My wife just found out that I have been viewing pornography for the past six years of our marriage. She is furious. I feel bad, but I don't understand why she is so upset. She hasn't been sexually open to new things and I have felt that she didn't care if I took care of things myself. I don't know how to respond to her. I actually enjoy viewing pornography, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with my wife. She told me that my viewing pornography is like cheating on her. I don't get that at all. How could viewing pornography be like cheating? Is there something that I can do to help her calm down? The other question I have is about stopping pornography. I only view once or twice a week when she isn't around. I am not sure I want to stop, but I don't want a divorce either. Please advise.

Answered by: Geoff Steurer

My husband cheated on me a few years ago and I still find myself checking his cell phone, email, and anything else that looks suspicious. I haven't found anything, but I still feel a need to know what's going on. He says I'm violating his privacy, but I don't believe he has a right to privacy anymore. What do you think?

Answered by: Geoff Steurer

I'm unhappy in my marriage. I have a 2 year old boy that I love more than anything in the world. My wife is very talented and beautiful, she is a great mother. But her and I have little to talk about, we are very distant, and she seems to always be angry with me. She wants me to be more engaged at our home. I want to be, but I don't enjoy being home. I love my boy and love playing with him. I don't enjoy being around her, it is mostly nagging. When I try to talk with her both of us get angry quickly. It's very hard to have an open conversation. I am happy at work and unhappy at home. I watch the clock at home but enjoy work - it's backwards. A little over a year ago I got involved with a woman from work. No sex but some physical intimacy, mostly emotional intimacy. The affair lasted about two months and has been over for well over a year. I haven't seen or spoken to the woman for over a year. I believe most of my wife's anger is over this issue. We were distant prior to the issue and continue to be. I don't know how to feel connected with her. I'm very lonely. I'm sure my wife is as well. I'm trying to fill the void with male friends and trying to avoid women. Please help.

Answered by: Dr. Kevin Skinner

My husband had an affair ten years ago. Our marriage survived it--we do well--but now when we make love, my husband doesn't look at me. What is going on? Is he still thinking about HER?

Answered by: Todd Creager

My husband has been having an affair. I asked that he move out so he did. I am very angry with my husand. My l6 year old son confronted me yesterday which makes me feel awful. He says that as long as I treat his dad with anger his dad will never come home. Is he right? How can I be nice to him after he betrayed me?

Answered by: Susan Adams

I want to run off with my mistress. I love her. My wife knows about her and wants the marriage. But I don't love my wife so why should I stay when I am not in love. "Sally", my girlfriend, is wonderful and exciting. Why wouldn't I not follow what makes me happy? We have two kids and they will soon be in college.

Answered by: Susan Adams